Day 39: Max Boredom

I never thought I’d say this. It almost feels sacrilegious. But I’ll say it: I hate Max Recovery. I might even loathe it.

If I could pick up Max Recovery by the scruff of the neck and grind it into little pieces, set fire to each one of those pieces and then scatter the charred ashes from a very tall bridge, I would.

The strange thing is, I loved Cardio Recovery for most of Month 1 but maybe I’m now conditioned to go faster. You see, Max Recovery feels unbearably sloooooooow. In contrast to the high impact workouts I’m used to by this stage, Max Recovery focuses on slow control and endless repetition. For example, the opening 5 minutes are all variations of the same old contract & relax sequence. Contract your back. Relax your back. Now do it bent over. Now do it in a lunge. Now do it on one leg. Now do it in a squat.

You get the picture.

Then there’s the low plank-high plank variation, where you lower yourself onto your forearms, then raise yourself onto your hands. Then lower yourself onto your forearms, then raise yourself onto your hands. Forever.

Max Recovery is just a relentless tide of stretching and holding, stretching and holding until all I want to do is grab Shaun T’s unflattering lycra leggings by the elasticated waistband, hoist it up to his chin and ask him to hold that position for 16 counts.

No. Just no.

Max Recovery was difficult and strenuous (just as it should be) but for me, it didn’t flow and that’s why it felt dull and lifeless. It was like they casually strung together a number of separate exercises without any thought to build-up or momentum. For that reason, this feels like the longest workout in the programme, despite being one of the month’s shortest.

In summary, I hated this workout for 5 reasons:

  • it’s repetitive
  • it’s slooooooow
  • it’s hard but doesn’t feel as satisfying to complete as other workouts
  • the gang are subdued
  • Shaun T wears leggings

Now, I’m well aware that there may be people out there who adore this workout, who welcome the opportunity to bend themselves into unnatural shapes and create smoking holes where their hip flexors used to be. I, however, am not one of them. Maybe I’ll grow to love this one. Maybe I’ll improve my form and feel a greater sense of achievement. But for now, I am happy to see the back of Max Recovery for at least a few days.

If you love Max Recovery please, please, tell me its redeeming features and help me spark some love for it.

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