Day 38: No Mr Bond, I expect you to Die

See that look in Blofeld’s eyes? This is how Shaun T looks when he plans his exercise programmes. He sits in a black wing-tipped chair and strokes a dumbbell while he masterminds his next diabolical workout.

Today, I have met my nemesis for Month 2, and it is called Max Cardio Conditioning. Shaun T introduces this workout as “45 minutes of pure endurance training”, and he’s not kidding.

While Pure Cardio centred around a main circuit of 15 minutes, Max Cardio ramps it up to 29 muscle-jangling minutes of jumping, pushing, pressing, twisting, jabbing, punching, sprinting and vomiting. 29 minutes of non-stop cardiovascular action. TWENTY. NINE. MINUTES.

It goes without saying, this is a killer workout. Max Cardio Conditioning is the T-Rex of Insanity workouts. It rips into your muscles with bloodthirsty fangs and will not let go until the only thing left is a rotting lycra-clad corpse. Trust me, I didn’t laugh once during this workout. Neither did anyone else. The gang were totally in the zone. Teeth were gritted. Buttocks were clenched. Shaun T means business today.

While Max Interval and Max Plyo follow a pattern of heart-pumping circuits and miniscule water breaks, Max Cardio smacks you upside the head with one drill after another after another. Once the obligatory warm-up and stretch are done, you’re introduced to 21 exercises in rapid-fire succession:

  • High-low jab with squat
  • Football runs
  • Basketball shots with squats
  • Right – left kicks
  • Diamond jumps
  • In & out abs/push-up jacks
  • Suicide jumps
  • High knees/low sprint/floor sprint
  • Ski abs
  • Kick step back
  • Squat twists
  • Over the river hops
  • Attack
  • Power knees
  • Ski down hooks
  • Belt kicks
  • Forward/back suicides
  • Push-up abs
  • Plank punches
  • 8 jump ropes/8 hop squats
  • Squat speed bag

Shaun T channels Blofeld at his finest as he forces you through a regime of sheer physical and mental torture. You finished those push-ups? Get up and give me eight diamond jumps! You finished those diamond jumps? Get down and give me ten squats! You bleeding from your eyeballs? Stop crying and bring me my water!

I know I’m going to dread Max Cardio every time it appears on my workout schedule. But that being said, it’s an incredibly satisfying workout because I know I have tested every fibre of my being and come out the other side.

If you love being stretched to your last fraying muscle, this is the workout for you. And even if you don’t, the sense of pride and accomplishment you will feel on completion of Max Cardio is unparalleled. You will feel like you’ve scaled Mount Everest, rescued five kittens from a burning apartment block and built a space rocket by the time you do your cool down.

Max Cardio Conditioning puts the ‘Insanity’ in Insanity.

What do you think of this one?


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