Are you, like me, wanting to get fit?
I know I need to lose some weight. I lead a fairly sedentary lifestyle and I really want to give the Insanity workout a shot. Why? To lose some weight for sure, but mainly to be stronger and fitter. I’m only in my 30’s and I should be able to enjoy long walks without feeling tired after 10 minutes. I want to have bags of energy and feel more confident about my outward appearance. Time to stop snacking and time to start sweating.
And so I pressed ‘Play’. I was SO scared going in. Look at his eyes. They’re made of STEEL. Wouldn’t you be scared?
I needn’t have worried – it was fast, furious, but very very fun! Shaun T (call me judgemental, but I’m wary of people who use initials as a surname) is a fantastic motivator. I thought he’d be a drill sergeant, barking orders at me like I was a 3 year old. Yes, he was strong, clear and direct in his instructions, yet he also encouraged, affirmed and reminded me continually of how well I was doing. Look, I know he wasn’t really talking to me, but it gets me through the pain.
Wait – there was pain? Not agonising pain – but certainly, a lot of strenuous effort, pressure and tiredness throughout. I didn’t collapse at any point, though I did stop for a few more breaks than Shaun T would have liked… and my face did come worryingly close to the carpet at one point. So close, in fact, that I could almost smell the stale sweat in the fibres. But anyway, sweat is good, right? Sweat is but the teardrops of my body fat as they weep onto the rug. At least, I like to think so. But no, that sounds disgusting now that I read it back.
So what does Day 1 look like? It comprises a ‘gentle’ warm up that felt like a full body workout, a frantic 8 drill fitness test with frequent drink-water-sit-down-clutch-blindly-at-doorpost rest breaks, and a long cooldown to stretch out whatever muscles you may have left.
What I liked about the test was that even though each 1 minute drill presents a new and inventive way to kill you, there’s a 30 second break in between each one. Psychologically, I treated these breaks as a mini-reward. So when you think about it, you get a lot of rewards in return for all the hard, fast bursts of strenuous exercise. Personally, I much prefer this system than tedious 30 minute long, moderate-level aerobic DVDs with cheesy music in the background.
Throughout the video, Shaun is accompanied by 2 enthusiastic, high-fiving demonstrators who, I firmly believe, are in fact T-1000’s (incidentally, the woman’s abs make me weep). Please DON’T try to keep up with these two. To attempt to do so will only add to your inferiority complex. They are like the sun – admire them from a distance but don’t look directly at them.
So there you have it. Day 1 is over. Only 62 days to go. I’m off to drink my own body weight in recovery formula and lie down in a darkened room.